Whose Kryptonite Is This Anyway? (Week 1)
I've gotten older, some things I've learned about me are:
I'm a planner/ scheduler and decision maker. That's why I love accounting. There has to be a end result, a final resolution or a decision made! The funny thing is I tend to attract the OPPOSITE of who I am.
And sometimes that's cool and liberating. But other times it can be frustrating. In the past, I accepted those associations and ended up sacrificing what I wanted and needed because they were more 'spontaneous' or laid back. They didn't have a care in the world, they lived by the moment, didn't make plans and just went with the flow. That's cool but for me and my life, I like to have some aspect of structure. Things don't always work out as planned I know, but that's me and who I am for now. That may change or …it may never change. Honestly, I love that about myself.
What I found in those (opposite attractions), (based on my experiences with them), no matter how funny their were and adventurous, none of their goals got accomplished. I was often the cheerleader, the motivator the person they called for that 'extra boost' or morale they needed. Also, our plans never panned out and even worse, I was usually left holding the bag when it was all said and down because they would bail out at the last minute or 'forget to call'. They were risk takers, where I calculated the outcome as much as possible before making a decision.
On the flip side, I could be social and outgoing if needed. But my opposing associates didn't seem to be able to be more serious or planners or decisive. Hmmm. The past year I've been learning to set my boundaries, pick and choose my associations and friendships wisely and more important--- try to be fair, cooperative and compromising w/out losing myself. If it doesn't work I'm learning not to feel guilty for letting it go. And more importantly I'm learning to express how I feel after I've seen recurring behavior that makes me feel my time and self are not valued or respected.
Granted some people will not respond well to these 'expressions' or 'communications'. But that's when you have to know what's right for you, what works and stand firm. It's not easy, to tell people how you feel about something that they are doing that hurts you, discounts you or makes you feel disrespected but in the end, that's process of elimination. You have to do what's best for you but make sure you're as understanding and respectful to the other person when 'expressing' yourself.
No one is perfect, no one is always right and fo' sho' NO ONE is better than anyone else. But learning who you are so that you can pick & choose the right (likeminded) associations for you is what it's all about. Most of the people you meet and hang out with are not meant to be your friends or even serious associates. That doesn't mean they aren't good, likable or real; it just means they are not right for you.
Faults With Being A Planner/Decision Maker:
What hangs me up at times is that I tend to plan for EVERYTHING which can take the fun or spontaneity out of some things. Also because I research and consider alot of different factors, when it comes to making big decisions, it takes FOREVER! I could miss a golden opportunity. NOt being a risk taker has it's pros but it also has it cons.
So with me being a decision maker. When I find someone is spontaneous, I tell them up front "Hey. I'm cool with a little spontaneity but I also like to be around decisive people." Either we can compromise or we can't. But hopefully we can. Obviously I need their spark of adventure and they need my goal-oriented and decisive ways. But when scales are always tilted towards one person then where's the compromise?
Know yourself…cause if you don't , no one else will!
Kd
- I'm a planner
- Decisive (on small matters)
- Passionate
- Worker Bee
- Driven
- Love Inspiring Others
I'm a planner/ scheduler and decision maker. That's why I love accounting. There has to be a end result, a final resolution or a decision made! The funny thing is I tend to attract the OPPOSITE of who I am.
And sometimes that's cool and liberating. But other times it can be frustrating. In the past, I accepted those associations and ended up sacrificing what I wanted and needed because they were more 'spontaneous' or laid back. They didn't have a care in the world, they lived by the moment, didn't make plans and just went with the flow. That's cool but for me and my life, I like to have some aspect of structure. Things don't always work out as planned I know, but that's me and who I am for now. That may change or …it may never change. Honestly, I love that about myself.
What I found in those (opposite attractions), (based on my experiences with them), no matter how funny their were and adventurous, none of their goals got accomplished. I was often the cheerleader, the motivator the person they called for that 'extra boost' or morale they needed. Also, our plans never panned out and even worse, I was usually left holding the bag when it was all said and down because they would bail out at the last minute or 'forget to call'. They were risk takers, where I calculated the outcome as much as possible before making a decision.
On the flip side, I could be social and outgoing if needed. But my opposing associates didn't seem to be able to be more serious or planners or decisive. Hmmm. The past year I've been learning to set my boundaries, pick and choose my associations and friendships wisely and more important--- try to be fair, cooperative and compromising w/out losing myself. If it doesn't work I'm learning not to feel guilty for letting it go. And more importantly I'm learning to express how I feel after I've seen recurring behavior that makes me feel my time and self are not valued or respected.
Granted some people will not respond well to these 'expressions' or 'communications'. But that's when you have to know what's right for you, what works and stand firm. It's not easy, to tell people how you feel about something that they are doing that hurts you, discounts you or makes you feel disrespected but in the end, that's process of elimination. You have to do what's best for you but make sure you're as understanding and respectful to the other person when 'expressing' yourself.
No one is perfect, no one is always right and fo' sho' NO ONE is better than anyone else. But learning who you are so that you can pick & choose the right (likeminded) associations for you is what it's all about. Most of the people you meet and hang out with are not meant to be your friends or even serious associates. That doesn't mean they aren't good, likable or real; it just means they are not right for you.
Faults With Being A Planner/Decision Maker:
What hangs me up at times is that I tend to plan for EVERYTHING which can take the fun or spontaneity out of some things. Also because I research and consider alot of different factors, when it comes to making big decisions, it takes FOREVER! I could miss a golden opportunity. NOt being a risk taker has it's pros but it also has it cons.
So with me being a decision maker. When I find someone is spontaneous, I tell them up front "Hey. I'm cool with a little spontaneity but I also like to be around decisive people." Either we can compromise or we can't. But hopefully we can. Obviously I need their spark of adventure and they need my goal-oriented and decisive ways. But when scales are always tilted towards one person then where's the compromise?
Know yourself…cause if you don't , no one else will!
Kd
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