Articles & Interviews
So U Think You're a Diva!
by: Kandie Delley {2006}

The place is packed tonight. It's your first night out appreciating the single life. Sure you probably didn’t appreciate the ‘single’ status before but now you’re finding your niche in the dating scene. The D.J. is mixing some serious cuts. The mood is off the chain and you are in your element. You glide over to the bar and check out the scene before.

Men and women lined against the wall, flirtatious conversations piloting through the music like little butterflies of passion. You order your favorite drink. You glance around and notice some eyes are on you. Strut yo' confidence, you da'bomb girl! Forget about the fact that your ex lied about ‘working late’. Forget that you caught him all hugged up with another women at your favorite spot. The point is you’re better off without him and it’s time for you to meet new people.

Your hair is laid, nails and toes impeccable; your gear is fitted and ready to trample the competition. Are we kidding? What competition? That’s right girl you are on FIRE! You’re not huddled in broke down groups like these other femme fatales. No way! You’re not part of the single woman brigade or a candidate of the poster girl for the “Can't Get A Man" campaign. Heck no! You choose to be single and career focused! Sho’ you right!

You’re here to have a good time by yo’ self. You’re ready to do some serious damage up in here by yo’ self. You don’t need a man. You’re beyond that. You’re a lady out to dance the night away and have a good ol’ time by yo’self! You’re secure enough in yourself to paint the town red, that’s right… ‘By Yo’ Self!” Girl you are looking good and definitely got it going on!

Now that you’ve got the vibe and cased the room, grab your drink and mingle. Stepping out never felt so right. You look around see women reflecting that same sad or pitiful look you kicked a few months ago. You nod to them in fierce recognition mentally reciting ‘Sistah’s it’s gonna be alright. Just follow this Diva's flow!” You’ve find a rare and secluded place in the club to enjoy the scene. Why did you wait so long to just have “you” time? Now you're groovin'; your head’s just-a swaying, fingers poppin', hips a'rockin', just getting your groove on!

Uh oh! Intrusion Alert! Your internal homing device has picked up the ‘vibe’. You zero in and lock on the O.S (originating source). He’s a pretty smooth looking brotha (okay you’re straight lying; this brother is FEEY-IINNE!!!} But you’re no chopped liver yourself right? After all, you’ve got mad hits on your online dating page with brothas stating how beautiful you are. Doesn’t that count for something? So what if this man has a great resemblance to the man of your dreams.

Then again, you could be hallucinating. Matter of fact, how many drinks did you have so far? (One). Well hey it could be the lighting. After all, how many brothas dressed in Armani suits with chocolate skin, bedroom eyes and a magnetic smile frequent this club anyway? Something inside you says another quick glance couldn’t hurt. Yikes!

He’s still staring. Brotha is burning holes through your forehead and blowing smoke signals. Oh wait a minute, that's just a smoker sitting beside him. But still... you know the spotlight's on you. Play it cool, play it cool. Ooh, there's your queue to flip the weave and slap on that huge grin. His friend joins him and he turns away.

Okay, maybe he wasn't checkin' you. It's obvious the brother doesn't have good taste right? This is the time where reality hits. You’ve become what you’ve feared. You’ve convinced yourself that you didn’t desire the companionship of a man. Of course a man doesn’t define you but Dag! It sure would be nice to enjoy picnics; strolls in the park and a moonlit kiss with that someone special wouldn’t it?

You’ve channeled into the next phase, which is denial. You closed the door to your heart out of the fear of getting hurt. Sure being single is great if you really want to be that, but when you don’t and you’re stuck with it, it’s lonely. It’s okay, but why you frontin’ otherwise?

Girl, you better grab your purse and scrape that last bit of dignity off the floor. Just make like a wide receiver and run for the goal line (the exit). Let your heels kick the back of yo' head and go home. Your player card revoked, cancelled and shredded. If you’re lucky you can probably catch Blockbuster’s before they close and rent out a few good movies.

What’s this? In your haste to vacate you bump into someone. Oh the madness! It’s him, the dude at the bar. It’s time to rethink, rebound and recover. That's right bounce back. He smells so good and that smile. Do you even dare tread this weary path again? Girl you betta stop frontin' and grab ol' boy like a flapjack. Formal intros are made and you are being led to a quiet corner of the room; ‘Ms. Peacock’ back in action. After all, A Diva’s got to do, what a Diva’s got to do

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